REMEMBERING A YEAR AGO

 OUR THOUGHTS HAVE BEEN WITH TERESA THESE PAST FEW DAYS.  IT WAS NICE TO GO OUT TO THE SUMMERS PROPERTY  ON SATURDAY AND FIX UP THE AREA WHERE WE HAD BURIED MOM, DAD AND TERESA'S ASHES.

 WE WERE AMAZED HOW PRESERVED THE SUNFLOWERS WERE.  WE JUST HAD TO STRAIGHTEN THEM UP A LITTLE.

 MY HARDEST DAY WAS ON MONDAY SINCE IT WAS ON A MONDAY THAT WE FOUND OUT THAT TERESA  HAD PASSED AWAY.  I DECIDED TO GO OUT TO MEMORIAL GARDENS AGAIN   THIS TIME I WAS BY MYSELF.  I SPENT ABOUT A HALF HOUR THERE.  I HAD FIXED UP AN ANGEL  SURROUNDED BY SUNFLOWERS IN A BASKET.  IT SEEMED SO APPROPRIATE.   DON, TAMI AND I HAD ALREADY LEFT SOME FLOWERS ABOVE THE PLAQUE ON SATURDAY.

I SHED A FEW TEARS THINKING ABOUT THAT DAY AND THE SHOCK OF KNOWING TERESA WAS GONE.  I HAD GONE TO THE DOCTOR, FOR THE FIRST 3 MONTH CHECK-UP AFTER CHEMO, AND FOUND OUT THINGS LOOKED GOOD.  I FELT THAT TERESA KNEW THAT I WAS GOING TO BE OK  AND WOULDN'T NEED HER ANY MORE.  SHE HAD BEEN SUCH A WONDERFUL HELP TO ME DURING MY CANCER EXPERIENCE.

I KNOW THAT MY TEARS ARE RATHER SELFISH BECAUSE SHE IS HAPPY AND WOULD NEVER WANT TO COME BACK.  I DO MISS HER AND TOLD HER THAT.

A THOUGHT CAME TO ME DURING THE END OF MY VISIT.  I HAVE ANOTHER SISTER THAT I LOVE HERE IN TOWN.  WE HAVE TALKED ON THE PHONE SEVERAL TIMES BUT I HADN'T SEEN HER FOR ALMOST 2 MONTHS.  I WENT HOME AND CALLED CLARISSA TO SEE IF HER AND KELLY WOULD LIKE TO GO OUT TO DINNER WITH DON AND I THAT NIGHT.

 WE MET AT 5:30 AT IHOP AND HAD A GREAT TIME TOGETHER.  WE VISITED FOR ABOUT AN HOUR AFTER WE ATE.  IT WAS WONDERFUL.

 

I TOLD CLARISSA AND KELLY THAT I WANTED TO SAY SOMETHING TO THEM.  I THEN EXPRESSED MY LOVE FOR THEM AND TOLD THEM THAT I WANTED TO TO GET TOGETHER MORE OFTEN.   I WAS HONORING MY SISTER  THAT HAD DIED  THIS MORNING AND IT HIT ME THAT I STILL HAD A SISTER AND BROTHER CLOSE BY THAT I LOVE .  WE WANT TO  DO SOMETHING AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH WITH THEM IF POSSIBLE.

I WAS EXPRESSING THESE FEELINGS THROUGH MY TEARS.  I THINK I TOOK CLARISSA BY SURPRISE BECAUSE SHE HUGGED ME AND WE BOTH EXPRESSED OUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER.   I THINK IT WAS A SPECIAL MOMENT FOR ALL OF US.